


bah humbug

by sad_goomy



Series: garlic cloves AU [3]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions
Genre: Alternate Universe - Buffy The Vampire Slayer Fusion, Banter, Christmas, Established Relationship, F/M, Gen, Holidays, Inspired by Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Lonashipping, SnowLilyShipping, Vampires, holidays....but make it spooky perhaps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21983644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sad_goomy/pseuds/sad_goomy
Summary: After saving the world, the Slayer and the gang are looking forward to being gifted a peaceful holiday season.They aren’t going to get one, but like all presents, it’s the thought that counts.
Relationships: Gladio | Gladion/Moon, Hau/Lilie | Lillie (Pokemon)
Series: garlic cloves AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1532435
Comments: 7
Kudos: 26





	bah humbug

[ [♪ Ho Ho Ho - Sia ♪] ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGanJGGVSrw)

Gladion isn’t sure what he expected when he walked into the Guardians of Alola office, but it certainly wasn’t to choke on loose tinsel being thrown at his face as Sun shouts, “Merry Christmas you filthy animal!” 

Laughter fills the air as the vampire scowls, wiping silver tinsel strands off his face, missing a few that stick to his hair. He looks up to find that the waiting area of their headquarters has been transformed with wreaths and garlands and paper snowflakes. What really grabs his attention is the tree they’ve somehow gotten through the door, set up in the center of the room and filled with ornaments. Sun stands next to it on a ladder, a bag of tinsel in his hands and a far too pleased grin on his face. 

“We’re a nondenominational nonprofit.” 

Hau’s head pokes around the tree, the druid holding up a glittering ornament as he says quickly, “It’s a ‘holiday’ tree!” 

“And this is an office space.” Gladion walks around the tree, eyeing it warily as though it might spring to life and start attacking – not all that much of a stretch, considering they got a call about tree spirits on Ula’ula just last week from Acerola. 

He stops next to the coffee table, raising a brow as he picks up a snow globe. “We shouldn’t be decorating at all.” 

Sun sets down the tinsel bag, descending the ladder as he clicks his tongue. “C’mon, where’s your holiday spirit?” He picks up a mug from the coffee table, taking a hearty sip before holding it out with a cream-mustache smile. “Egg nog?” 

“More like ‘egg not,’” Hau groans, sticking his tongue out in disgust. “I can’t believe you actually drink that.” 

The human pouts before turning his gaze back to the vampire in the room. “Whatever. Gladion gets it, right?” 

In lieu of a proper response, Gladion rolls his eyes, heading towards the training area as he mutters, “Just don’t let any of this impede your _actual_ work.” 

Hau and Sun share a look before watching him disappear into the back hallway, the nature spirit calling after him with a chuckle, “Watch out Moon, there’s a Grinch incoming!” 

He rolls his eyes, quickly navigating past the small kitchen and opening the door to the training area, a room of padded mats and a few pieces of gym equipment. It’s a space that’s usually filled with yelling and grunts, especially now that Hapu’s begun her strength training as a Slayer, but now’s it quiet. Towards the back, Moon and Hapu sit side by side on a metal bench, Hapu’s brows drawn together as she writes something on the notebook in her lap, before looking it over and showing it to Moon. “Like this?” 

Moon takes the notebook, humming as she looks it over before her face breaks into a small smile. Hapu mirrors it as the older Slayer nods, saying, “Perfect! At this rate, you’ll be better at balancing equations than me.” 

“I thought you two were supposed to be training.” 

Hapu flinches, sitting up with wide eyes as she quickly mumbles, “Sorry, Gladion sir.” 

Moon, on the other hand, only smirks, her eyes growing soft at the sight of him leaning in the doorway. She hands Hapu back her notebook as she explains, “We _are_ training. Training for her chemistry final – it's her last one tomorrow.” 

He nods, biting back a chuckle as he turns to Hapu. “How’d the others go?” 

Her shoulders loosen a bit, though her brows are still knit together in confusion. It’s hard for her to get a read on the vampire, who’s all cold and professional exterior one minute, only to go asking nice, personal questions a moment later. Moon claims he’s the least intimidating person she knows, but Hapu doesn’t know how to tell her that only seems to be the case when the two are together. 

Of course, the tinsel in his hair is making him seem a little more approachable. 

“Well, I think.” 

“She’s being modest,” Moon tells him with a wink, giving the younger Slayer a smile as she adds, “Hapu here is top of her graduating class.” 

Gladion raises a brow, and the girl’s cheeks color, though she can’t hide the puff of her chest at the praise. “In all fairness, it’s a small school.” 

“Still impressive.” The vampire nods, his brows knitting together a moment later. “It’s getting late, though, and we have a ferry ready.” 

Hapu nods, shoving her notebook and pencil back into her bag. As she stands, shouldering her backpack, Moon follows behind. “Get plenty of sleep tonight, okay? And we’ll see you at the holiday party.” 

“Yes’m.” 

Gladion steps out of the doorway, getting out of her way as he says quietly, “Good luck.” 

She blinks, pausing for a moment before giving them both a smile, adjusting her hold on the straps of her backpack. “Thank you much!” With a wave, she heads down the hallway, her voice muffled by the walls as she passes Sun and Hau and offers them a goodbye that they both return heartily. 

Moon watches her disappear down the hall before turning her gaze to the vampire before her. He’s been trying to dress the part of a foundation president a little more, trading out torn-up shirts for button-downs and vests, though he has yet to switch out his usual boots. 

Her eyes, however, go to his hair, and she steps closer, lifting a hand to pluck a strand of tinsel out as she chuckles, “You’ve become another of Sun’s casualties.” 

With a scowl, he ducks his head down, letting her pick out the rest as he frowns at the floor. “Is he always a menace this time of year?” 

“He’s a menace year-round.” She gives him a smile when their eyes meet, before her gaze goes back to picking tinsel out of his hair, carefully pulling out the last few strands and crumpling them into her pocket to throw out later. “This time of year he just gets festive with it. Also, done.” 

“Thank you.” 

He lifts his head as Moon lifts a brow, biting back most of her smirk as she asks, “Now what was that ‘Grinch’ comment about?” 

She watches him, the playful light in her eyes dimming into concern as the silence stretches into something thin and tense. He chews on his cheek for a moment, eyes narrowing at something she can’t see, can’t even begin to understand in a back room of their office, before he simply shakes his head. 

“Not really a holiday person.” 

It’s not an answer at all, but it’s the holidays and she’s feeling merciful, so she nods. “That explains your distinct lack of enthusiasm over Arbor Day.” 

His chuckle is small, still just a touch distant and not quite out of the strange place he’s been in since December rolled around, but before either of them can anything the ring of a phone cuts through the air. They listen intently as Hau picks up the hotline phone, greeting someone with an especially cheery “aloha” before listening intently, asking a few questions that they can’t quite hear through the walls. 

Moon looks up at Gladion, giving him a lopsided smile that’s infectious enough to spread to his own face. 

“Sounds like someone needs a miracle on 34th Street. You in?” 

“Always.” 

And the two head out into the hall, ready to shift their focus from the holidays to Alola’s latest danger. 

* * *

Unfortunately for Gladion, Alola’s latest danger is a threat to the holidays. 

The Snow Globe is the year-round holiday store that’s been in Paniola Town for as long as anyone in Alola can remember. Stepping inside, it’s a sprawling space of fake snow, glittering menorahs, and gentle, twinkling lights. In the morning sun and with children running down the halls with laughter trailing behind them, it would make a perfect postcard. 

In the dark of night, devoid of life and with reports of closing shift employees being terrorized by animal howls, crashing ornaments, and the cracking of a whip, it’s more chilling than jolly. 

Still, there’s a pretty good chance that it’s just a group of teenagers they’ll be giving a stern warning to, and so neither the Slayer nor the vampire are particularly worried as they walk the aisles. 

Moon leads the way, stake in one hand and phone lighting up the way in the other. Gladion follows, ducking under a poorly place branch of holly as he mumbles, “I see where Sun gets his décor inspiration.” 

She smiles over her shoulder, slowing her walk as her gaze travels the shelves to her right. “This and our dad since he went out every year when we were growing up; though to be fair, he might’ve been too young to really remember that.” As she observes the snow globes lined up in neat rows, she tries a little too hard to keep her tone casual, giving herself away as she asks, “What were your holidays like growing up?” 

His shoulders stiffen. “Fine.” 

“You have such a way with words,” she mumbles, looking back at him with an impish spark in her eyes that settles into something warmer, “Topic for later?” 

It’s far from the first time one of them has pulled that particular card. Despite everything they’ve been through and the months they’ve lived together, there are still certain conversations that have them withdrawing, waiting for some unseen force in the universe to shift things into a better place (and it always does, but it always takes its time, and they’ll always wait for it). 

A corner of his lips quirks up, though his eyes are still distant from an unpleasant thought. “Topic for when we’re not in a waking nightmare.” 

The beam of light from her phone’s flashlight travels as she looks around with a hum. “It’s not so bad. If you squint.” 

Gladion opens his mouth to counter, but rather than his voice, the sound of a cracking whip fills the air. They turn their heads towards the sound, the beam of light cutting across glittering snowmen and landing at the end of the aisle, catching the tail-end of a dark blur dashing out of sight. 

“Who’s there?” 

Moon raises a brow. “Always a good question to ask, never backfires on the horror movie protagonists.” 

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Can’t tell if I’d rather have the insults or the discussion of my childhood trauma.” 

“Decisions, decisions.” 

Glass crashes on the ground in the next aisle, followed by a strange, demonic bleating that has the hair on the back of their neck standing to attention. The clip of hooves fades as whatever they’ve been looking for hides further into the store, leaving the two of them to look at each other and silently confirm that there’s no way this is just a group of teenagers causing trouble. 

“Split the difference and go after the noise?” 

The Slayer grins, sweeping out her right hand and gesturing down the aisle with her stake. “Age before beauty.” 

He scowls, brushing past her to the end of the aisle and turning, walking slowly past another two aisles of decorations before spotting a dark figure running to the other end of the store, hooves clicking against the tile floor and a tail moving through the air. As the vampire begins to chase their mystery culprit, Moon turns and dashes. 

She reappears a few moments later, with Gladion close on the creature’s heels and her cutting it off, about to strike with the stake in her hand when a whip cracks, sailing through the air and wrapping around her wrist. She grunts, trying to pull her hand towards her and knock the looming creature off balance, but its stronger and yanks her forward, forcing her to fall on her face as the whip untangles itself, retracting into its handle. 

However, while their mystery culprit has been focused on her, it’s given Gladion enough time to grab a nearby bundle of string lights, tearing open the package and tying up a lasso with what he hopes is the same knot Hapu showed them all a few weeks ago. He gives it a few spins to gain momentum, and just as the creature is about to dash past Moon, he throws it, watching it land around the pair of horns protruding from the beast’s head. With a quick flick of his wrists, the knot tightens, and he puts his entire body into yanking the creature back, feeling the ground reverberate with the crash. 

Whatever he’s managed to catch is clearly stunned, giving the vampire just enough time to run around and wrap the string of lights a few times around the hooves, careful to keep his distance and a firm grip on the end of the lights. 

As Moon stands, she lifts her phone, the light finally revealing the creature that’s been terrorizing the Snow Globe. 

The body is glistening black fur, resembling something between a goat and a man, with hooves. As it struggles, its long tail twitches, pinned between its body and the ground. The face, human-adjacent with sharp folds and eyes that hold square black pupils is twisted up in frustration, nostrils flared and mouth grimacing. 

As Gladion keeps his hold on the string of lights and Moon picks up her stake, they feel their bodies freeze as an unnatural heat begins to rise from beneath them, a circle of glowing red sigils appearing around the creature. Moon manages to just jump out of the way before the sigils flash and a black hole appears in the ground. The beast falls through it, forcing Gladion to let go of the lights and watch it plummet before the void shrinks into a single red sigil that glows for a moment, only for them to blink and be left staring at the tile floor. 

It takes them both a few moments to recover, Moon the first to break the stunned silence as she slides her stake into her back pocket. “Well, good news, bad news.” 

“Bad news first.” 

She places a hand on his shoulder, her face grave except for the flicker of mischief in her eyes that gives her away. “We won’t have time to discuss your childhood trauma until _after_ we take care of this.” 

“I’d count that as good news,” Gladion mumbles, looking down at her with a smirk. 

“Well here’s more: I know what we’re dealing with.” Her gaze goes back to the floor before them, remembering the sight of a struggling Krampus as she chuckles, “And it’s really gonna get your goat.” 

* * *

_In conclusion, our expedition proved fruitless. Regardless, we will continue our hunt for a magical creature that could experience such a medical anomaly as a heart that increases 300% in size in response to positive stimuli._

_**Expedition to Mount** **Crumpit** **by Dr. Dana C.** **Eynce** **, The Arctic Journal of Occult Sciences, Issue 12** _

* * *

It takes about half an hour to gather everyone into a conference room at Aether Foundation, and at least three complaints from Sun that he should get overtime for this. 

Wicke stands at a podium at the front of the room, controlling the slideshow being projected, one leftover from Kukui’s days with the Council, if slightly updated and repurposed. Kukui stands next to the screen, gesturing for her to go on to the next slide as he explains, “Now if Krampus really has chosen Alola as his target that means we’ll need to be on watch for him for the next week at least. He tends to target misbehaving children, though that’s a loose definition that we can’t rely on.” 

As he looks around the room, he finds the others listening intently, and a single hand at the very end of the table is raised in the air. With a sigh, he mentally prepares himself for what possible question could be thrown his way. 

“Yes, Guzma?” 

The vampire lowers his hand, sitting back and crossing his arms as the others turn to him. “Feel like we blew right past the slide that mentioned something about schnapps and I’d like to go back to that. For science.” 

“Right.” Kukui takes a deep breath, reminds himself that it’s the holiday season and a time to be generous, and so he decides to humor it, Wicke taking the cue and going back to that particular slide, outlining several claims about Krampus. “Well, one of the few myths we can confirm about him is his affinity for schnapps. I’m...not sure how that factors into any of this.” 

Sun frowns, sharing a disgusted look across the table with his older sister. “Well it lets us know he has terrible taste.” 

Lillie’s brows furrow. She taps her pencil against the notepad she’s brought, chewing her cheek in thought for a moment before asking, “What about actual weaknesses? Do we have any confirmed magic or physical attacks that have deterred him in the past?” 

“Not particularly. Once he has his eyes set on a kid and gets them into the basket on his back, there’s little that can stop him.” 

“What happens to the kids afterwards?” Moon mumbles, not sure if she actually wants to know the answer. 

Luckily for her, there isn’t an answer, as Kukui nods at Wicke and she goes to the last slide, which is blank except for a single, large question mark in the center. 

Burnet raises a brow, a low whistle escaping through her lips. “That’s what we in the biz call ‘inconclusive.’” 

Kukui gives a short nod, his eyes remaining on the question mark as his shoulders stiffen and his mouth curls into a frown. “There are some theories about what happens in his dimension, and reports of some children reappearing after a year, though none of them will share details of what they went through.” 

“So protect Alola’s defenseless kids with little to no advantage on the big bad bogeyman after them,” Plumeria says, falling back into her chair next to Guzma with a sigh. “Happy holidays to us, I guess.” 

Hau looks around the room, realizing quickly that close to no one looks particularly encouraged about the situation; even Wicke, who he’s never seen with less than a polite smile on her face, has a rather serious look in her eyes, her lips tight as she stares at the screen of the laptop. He sits up straighter, one of his hands reaching to intertwine his fingers with Lillie’s as he tells the others, “C’mon guys, we’ve handled worse. Once we get the word out so others are looking, we’ll be okay.” 

The witch gives his hand a squeeze, giving the druid a small, grateful smile as the others mumble to themselves, growing cautiously optimistic. 

Guzma nods, all too confident when he adds with a shrug of his shoulders, “And I mean hey, is it really so bad if we lose a brat or two...?” 

There’s a moment of silence. 

And then Gladion is snapping, “Yes, it is,” as Sun balks, “You can’t just _say_ that,” and Plumeria is putting a hand on his shoulder, releasing a sigh long and low as she mutters, “This is why you aren’t allowed to answer the hotline anymore.” 

“The point is, we’ve got this.” All eyes turn to Moon as she across the room to her former Watcher, giving him a nod and a smirk that sets the tension in his shoulders to melting. “No kids are getting Krampus-napped on our watch.” 

* * *

Hapu walks out of her last student council meeting of the year feeling ready for the start of a relaxing winter break. Her chemistry final went smoothly, though there was one question on the last page that she’s still mulling over, near certain at this point that she missed it. She pushes the thought out of her mind, reminding herself that it’s in the past now, and instead focusing on her walk home as she strolls along the back of the school. 

Her mind wanders to the notification she had this morning about an email from Wicke. It didn’t seem like anything too urgent, and Plumeria was adamant about her taking a vacation from Slayer business along with school; still, she figures she should at least check it, about to slide her phone out of her pocket when she hears the hiss of an aerosol can around the corner. 

She slows her walk, slowly peeking over and frowning at the sight of three of her classmates spray-painting the side of the school wall. 

“Now I know y’all aren’t doing what I think you’re doing.” 

They turn at the sound of her voice, pausing to look at her as she crosses her arms and tries to stare them down, despite being a foot shorter than them. The tallest, a lanky boy named Lorimer who’s always fancied himself a class clown (though his “jokes” tend to ring a little more mean than funny to the Slayer-in-training). 

He rolls his eyes, spray can still in hand as he mutters, “Chill, Hapu. It’s just the Senior prank.” 

It’s a tradition for the oldest students at Poni Academy to pull something like this at the end of the first semester, but it’s one that’s been slowly dying out. Last year, it was nothing more than a few students setting off some air horns in the hall before the final bell. Hapu figured that would be the tradition’s final year. 

Unfortunately, it seems like Lorimer doesn’t have the same idea. She lifts her chin, refusing to break as she asks him with a scowl, “For you, sure, but what about the poor janitor that’ll have to clean this up?” 

“Oh, you’re such a saint,” he snaps, one of the students behind him snickering. 

Hapu narrows her eyes. “I just don’t see the point in such childishness.” 

Lorimer takes three steps forward and ends up far too close to her, nearly snarling in her face and looming far overhead. He’d cut an intimidating figure if his growth spurts hadn’t left him a beanpole, and if Hapu hadn’t been spending the past months learning to tap into an inhuman strength. 

“You don’t have to, but why can’t you just walk away? This isn’t your problem.” 

With him so focused on her, she has no problem snatching the spray paint out of his hand, the boy blinking as she bites back, twice as sure, “It is, and I reckon if you keep pushing me, I’ll make it yours, too.” 

An aerosol can drops to the ground behind them, clattering against pebbles as Lorimer looks up, over Hapu’s head. His eyes widen, and then he’s running right after his two friends, the three shouting something unintelligible at her and leaving Hapu to blink, ready to turn around and see what’s happening. 

Well she would, but it seems her feet are no longer on the ground, a clawed hand lifting her up several feet in the air by her backpack and turning her. 

“Hey now, what are you–” 

She comes face to face with a man with goat’s eyes. 

_SOMEONE HAS BEEN NAUGHTY_

Hapu blinks, not quite sure where that voice is coming from considering the lips on the creature in front of her haven’t moved from their grimace. She thinks for a moment she might have imagined it, considering it sounds like it’s inside her head, but then the not-quite-goat, not-quite-man demon holding her up looks like he might be expecting an answer. 

The can of spray paint still in her hand suddenly feels very solid, and her gaze flickers to it and the wall before she’s shaking her head, trying for a chuckle that’s a lot less light-hearted than she’d like. “Oh no, you misunderstand, this isn’t mine.” 

_THEN YOU WILL CLAIM TO BE NICE?_

She opens her mouth, closes it, and considers the question for another moment. 

“Well, that depends.” 

_I HAVE NO TIME FOR MORAL RELATIVISM_

There’s a whip in his other hand, she realizes, and a large wicker basket on his back that she notices when the lid flips open of its own accord. 

_NAUGHTY CHILDREN MUST BE PUNISHED_

And she doesn’t like the sound of that at all, so she brings up her hand and presses down on the aerosol can, unleashing a spray of neon blue into the creature’s eyes, a demonic bleat ringing in the air as she quickly slides her arms out of the straps of her backpack and lands in a crouch on the ground. 

She takes off running, not sure where she’s heading but knowing she needs to put enough space in between her and whatever this guy is in order to call the others. 

Except she never does, because the end of a whip wraps around her ankle, slapping her skin and sending her sprawling on the dirt, shocked and with the wind knocked out of her. She’s dragged back a foot, and while she tries to tug off the leather around her ankle, a clawed hand reaches back down, the world moving in quick flashes around her before she lands on something hard and woven in darkness. 

This, she realizes, must be the inside of the wicker basket. 

When she pushes on the lid, it doesn’t move, and no matter how hard she pushes on the sides, using her shoulders and legs to try and break the basket, the wicker doesn’t budge. She tries giving a few shouts, but she can’t hear any noise from outside, so she gets the feeling her voice isn’t reaching anyone on the other side. 

Hapu sighs, shoulders slumping as she sits with her legs curled up against her chest, with nothing but the pitch black for company, and the realization that if she just left Lorimer and his stupid friends alone, she might not be in this mess. 

“So this is what it feels like to be on the naughty list.” 

As she shifts, she feels something in her back pocket, and realizes that she still has her phone. She’s not sure if it’ll work with whatever magic this wicker basket is made of, but she still slides it out, her mind wandering to an email she still hasn’t opened as she thinks of who to text. 

* * *

**From:** **Hapu** **[16:13]**   
_Hello Ms. Wicke! I sure hope I’m not bothering you,_  
_but I seem to be in a bit of a predicament. I know_  
_you said this number is for emergencies, so I hope_  
_this qualifies._

 **From: Wicke [16:14]**   
_Hello Hapu, what seems to be the matter?_

 **From:** **Hapu** **[16:17]**   
_It would seem I’ve been kidnapped by some sort of_  
_horned beast. I’m not entirely sure where he’s taking_  
_me, but I’m currently in a basket on its back. When_  
_you get the chance, could you send someone out to_  
_help?_

 **From: Wicke [16:18]**   
_Hapu this is absolutely an emergency_

 **From: Wicke [16:19]**   
_I’m alerting the others and they’ll be coming to rescue_  
_you right away_

 **From:** **Hapu** **[16:21]**   
_No rush, ma’am! I’d hate to be a nuisance_

 **From: Wicke [16:24]**   
_Dear, I say this with love, but when you get out of this_  
_we need to have a discussion about your sense of_  
_self-preservation_

**Author's Note:**

> me in november: I should write the holiday special now  
> me on december 25th, 3pm: oh guess what I didn't do
> 
> listen we're extending the holidays and time is an illusion, so here's part one of what ended up being a two part holiday special for my favorite idiots


End file.
